4...3...2...1...Blast off. Seriously.

Going insane. I want to vomit. a lot.

I really can't even explain how horrible I feel except that I feel like I just lost someone I really loved. That feeling. I want to scream, but I can't. I can't do anything right now except sit back, watch, and feel the bile lodge in my throat.

Flip, flip into blank. Save yourself for when you can afford to feel.

Well I decided to go to the trunk or treat for the boys. I whipped up a pirate costume, and Tim made a mad scientist costume with some dry ice and our old lab coat (my idea). I was really surprised at the small number of adults who wore a costume. I think its fun to dress up.

The kids and Tim got some sonic on the way home. I don't really feel like eating. I just want my wine, or something. Tim poured out everything in the house following a night I got wasted. I am just so pissed when I look around the trashed out house I just fucking super cleaned. I guess I am holding a lot of resentment towards him at the moment. He probably is with me as well. I dunno. I don't want to be stuck in this house another Saturday night.

I just feel so bored. Bah. I am so tired of the house not staying clean.